Through the half-open window, Alex stared down at the stone fountain on the driveway, Gabby had gone downstairs ages ago but still the bedroom smelt of her cigarette smoke. Tugging at the grubby strap that tied the window to its frame, Alex pulled it shut. On the bed, her daypack was stuffed with everything she imagined she might need, plus anything else she could fit in. Alex picked at her right thumb and watched as it began to bleed and wondered how any of this made sense.
Beside her, the gift nestled in fuchsia tissue paper; a set of three garish lipsticks that Alex would never use and so would end up back with Gabby. Everyone had signed the house card and as a wind-up, Gabby had written her full name, Alexander, on top of it. Alex picked up a second card, a homemade offering from one of the younger kids. On the front, they’d drawn her in wax crayon; with short black hair, wearing jeans with trainers, the image looked like a boy. As the light outside melted into dusk, she made her decision, tonight, she thought, I need to leave tonight.
Gabby put her head around the door.
“Pam says I’ve got to come and find you,” she said, smirking.
“So — you found me,” Alex said.
“Are you coming to help then?” Gabby said.
“Shouldn’t there be some kind of rule against house duties on my birthday?” Alex said.
“Probably.” Gabby frowned in the direction of the bed. “What’s with the bag?”
“Nothing… I thought I’d take some stuff to the charity shop,” Alex flipped over the top flap and fastened it. “Maybe when we go to town tomorrow.”
“Right – random, anyway, you need to spray in here – stinks of fags,” Gabby grinned and left.
Downstairs, the sound of the supper bell jangled around the wood-panelled hallway and landing, bedroom doors burst open and then whammed shut as everyone thundered downstairs. From the kitchen, Alex could hear a row kick-off; the shouts sounded like Frankie, which meant something was about to get thrown or smashed. Another voice squealed loudly, and a steady thumping began as Pam’s voice became the loudest, and the thumping continued. Alex sighed and stood up; the late autumn sun had faded, leaving an icy chill that made her shiver. Pulling the pack over one shoulder, Alex made it downstairs but as she reached the front door, a loud whisper made her jump.
“Oiy! What are you doing?” Gabby leaned over the banister.
“Nothing,” said Alex, “I’m just putting it here for a bit.”
“That’s it’s not charity stuff, is it?”
“No, listen, I’ll tell you after,” Alex said, dropped the bag at the coat racks, and skipped through the dining room door before Gabby reached her.
“Here’s the birthday girl,” Pam said as Alex entered. “I suppose we can let you off not helping set up for one night. But mind you take a turn washing up after.” Alex faked a smile at the house manager. Around her, kids grabbed at drinks glasses, elbowed each other, and chattered. As the food got served, she picked a potato off the table and put it back in the bowl.
Alex had imagined that turning sixteen would be great but instead, she felt scared and shaky, like she might cry. The feeling had been building for days as if something bad was on its way, but she couldn’t talk about it, like a storm, a Tsunami, or both.
Pam and Nigel led a chorus of Happy Birthday and Alex grimaced but then grinned as Frankie sang loud with his fingers in his ears. As always, they had birthday cake, and Alex had asked for chocolate fudge. As she blew out the candles Alex knew she was expected to make a wish, but her mind went blank, so she pretended instead. Just as she’d hoped, the house gift turned out to be money; without it running away was going to be an even bigger deal. Alex stared at the crisp new notes, while next to her, Gabby explained to Pam about going to Leeds the next day.
“So obviously we’ll want to check out the stuff in the arcades, but the best bargains are going to be on the market,” Gabby talked, chewed, and chopped her food together. “The best place for anything really schizzle is going to be Poodle Parlour, trouble is it’s a long way from the buses.”
Later, Alex helped clear the table and tried hard to act normal; some of the smaller kids began to sing Happy Birthday again, but Pam stopped the game and nodded towards the kitchen with raised eyebrows. When most of the washing up was done, Alex sneaked out to the hallway, listened for a while, and then headed for the front door, opening it slowly and just enough for her to squeeze outside. After hiding the backpack under the stone fountain, she checked the front gates; they were locked but it was worth a try. The lights were on in the games room and Alex watched the new boy, Jonah, play Xbox while the others shouted for a turn. After checking the bag couldn’t be seen from the house, she went inside to join them. As she entered, Gabby stared at her; Alex smiled back, but Gabby just turned away.
Bedtime arrived and, as they brushed their teeth, the two girls hard stared at each other in the bathroom mirror. Gabby was the first to spit.
“So, are you going to tell me or am I going to tell on you?” Gabby hissed.
“I just stashed some stuff that’s all.”
“What stuff?”
“Look, clothes and stuff, it’s no big deal.”
Gabby narrowed her eyes.
“I am so telling Pam.”
“Look, I’ll make you a deal if you promise not to say anything.” Alex said, “how about, if I’m not back by breakfast, then you can tell?” Gabby slowed her teeth brushing. “OK,” Alex sighed, “I’ll be back for breakfast AND I’ll give you a fiver of my birthday money when we go shopping tomorrow.”
“Ten,” said Gabby.
“Fine.” Alex shrugged.
“But you’ve got to be back for breakfast,” Gabby said, narrowing her eyes. “Or I am so going straight to Pam and Nigel.”
Which was all the approval Alex needed.
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